Fears

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Frank Herbert

Why am I writing about fear on a blog that is dedicated to speech and my experiences as a Speech-Language Pathologist? Well, because I am honestly terrified of what tomorrow brings. 

I had the pleasure of learning a whole huge list of different genetic disorders in graduate school for one of my child language classes. It was one of those things that I hadn't really thought about before as my family didn't have much history of anything. 

It's much more personal now that I'm married. My wonderful husband has to go into surgery tomorrow because he does suffer from one of these lovely genetic conditions (a mutation in his case). Hand surgery.....I know it's not heart or brain surgery, but to me it's still something that's really scary. It still involves a structure that's very important to his ability to work and drive. It still involves getting around small nerves. It still involves him being put under. 

The most difficult part is not being there. I've been sick so much this year with everything that has come through the building that I can't miss any days. I can't help him through the recovery process because we are still two hours apart and I have to help my grandmother. 

I need life to calm down just a little.